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forgot.

james.

13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Listening and Doing
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.
---

I forget so easily. I'm like the man who looks at his face in a mirror, and forget what I look like. I look at grace and love so easily with hope and thanksgiving, and yet in moments that come so quickly, I'm easily deceived and let go of what I'm called to do.

지겨워.
짜증나.
답답해.
싫어.
가짜.
그만해.

...

힘들어.
언니를 보고싶어.

never...

never again watch heroes or tv or movies until 5am!
my body is kind of freaking out.
not good -.-

2 more exams then 2nd year is over wheeeeeeeeeeee. can't wait to play. and no more work or studying!

love.

you know, sometimes trying to love someone is like dying.

"let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." romans 14:8

"love does no harm to its neighbor. therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." romans 14:10

i struggle with loving others seriously, its so hard.

march already?

i don't update this blog that often, because i have another one: http://prayclarapray.blogspot.com/

i use that one for uganda mission trip updates so this one has been dead for a while.

i can't believe it's march already! i don't know where time goes, all i know is that it goes by so fast.

2nd year is almost over... then only 2 remaining years to go... wow, and who knows a year off after i graduate? then law school? i have no idea... only God knows.

i'm looking forward to the summer, it should be interesting to go on a mission trip, then come back for 2 months. for july and part of august i have no idea what i'll be doing, maybe i should look into volunteer positions so i'm not sitting around for 2 months. but we're also going on the eastern prayer journey this year... all the Maritime provinces, it's going to be crazy.

alright.. this week:

- finished book review (the village of waiting) - it's really good! helped me a lot

- korean midterm today

- addendum for book discussion

- Unbound joint praise night on Friday (i'm getting excited for this, i hope lots of people come out!)

and i think i'm going to new york and new jersey next week hehe :)

don't give up.

⁷But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may GAIN Christ ⁹and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. ¹⁰I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

¹²Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

philippians.

powerful.

persevere.

(I have been battling with something inside of me for a while now. When it goes away one year, it comes back in some form or another. I am troubled by this. DEEPLY. I'm quite frankly tired of it, because the Kingdom of God is near... so why?! I have questions for God that I don't seem to really get answers from. These questions continue to trouble me and make my soul hurt.

BUT, REJOICE. Because I will PRESS ON. I will not give up, and I will believe that God is good and sovereign in all things - even when I don't understand and want to be discouraged.)

I will not live according to a human standard. Life is better than that.

ACTS 5:33-39.

³³When they heard this, they were furious and wanted to put them to death. ³⁴But a Pharisee named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, who was honored by all the people, stood up in the Sanhedrin and ordered that the men be put outside for a little while. ³⁵Then he addressed them: "Men of Israel, consider carefully what you intend to do to these men. ³⁶Some time ago Theudas appeared, claiming to be somebody, and about four hundred men rallied to him. He was killed, all his followers were dispersed, and it all came to nothing. ³⁷After him, Judas the Galilean appeared in the days of the census and led a band of people in revolt. He too was killed, and all his followers were scattered.³⁸Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. ³⁹But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God."

photograph.

a friend sent me this link

this picture caught my attention and it hurt to stare at it for a couple of seconds.

something as simple as w a t e r.

just believe.

Jesus said, "Don't be afraid; just believe."

Believe in what? (my dad asked this in his message today in service)

We've been thinking a lot about Haiti these days; it was already a devastated nation before the earthquake hit. Now it's even more devastated ... what to do, what to think?

I sometimes feel very helpless.

I want to do so many things, and really want to focus on one issue/problem where I could make an impact. Orphans, the poor and homeless, sex slaves, immigrants/refugees - I want to do something about all of these... but how?

Sometimes I wonder what I believe in (not necessarily in terms of my faith - God) but more so what do I believe about humanity, people, and this world. I become more troubled and conflicted when I read articles and hear the desires of people in the West who want to 'help' the developed world.

I guess this post is diverging from my original point about believing (and what Jesus said), but I'm finding myself becoming more frustrated with Western society and the notion of "us" and "them".

I'm not sure where I'm going with this anymore.

I'm just troubled -.-

2010.

its a new year!

i cant explain really what im feeling or what i expect... but here's some thoughts:

- 5-course load (its harder than i thought!)

- praying for growth in ubf + lccf

- joe and rebekah getting married!

- uganda mission trip (may 1 - jul 4)

- eastern prayer journey (august 15 - 30)

- isaac and jihan getting married!

- paul and lydia getting married!

(wow many people getting married)

- i'll finish 2nd year, and start 3rd year

that's it so far..

those are kind of events...?

personally im trying to just daily die to myself. i want to die each day so that Christ will live in me. i'm tired of living for myself and this world. im thankful at ydc i was able to receive renewal an hope for this year. i saw in 2009 the kind of life i dont want to live (a life for myself). it got messy and was meaningless at times. but overall 2009 was a good year, but i want 2010 to be even better.

everyday is a struggle. its a battle. but seeking God with all my heart and denying myself - it'll reap blessing and peace.

i dont know what i wanted to get at with this blog, but i wanted to write thoughts down as i was being bothered by some really inconsiderate people in the library. who makes out with their bf/gf in the friggen library...?! -.-

anyway, time for 2nd class of the day.